Because Summer Called My Bluff and Tagged Me

Summer tagged me so I had to answer this or I would go to hell or something.

Eight things I look forward to:
1. Meeting Jesus face to face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Come quickly!)
2. Going to get Zipporah out of her crib in the mornings and putting her in the bed next to Adam and watching her snuggle up to him.
3. Moving back to Dallas and eating at all the restaurants that Memphis didnt have.
4. IC!
5. Old friends...although I KNOW I am going to shed tears for the new ones...
6. Singing and writing more
7. Ice cream
8. Coming back to Memphis to visit

Eight things I did yesterday:
1. Hung out in my robe for hours!!
2. Hung with Vanja
3. Went to the Dont Waste Your Life concert in Memphis
4. Ate Pei Wei
5. Got to see alot of people I really like at the concert
6. Danced in the highest heels ever for 2 hours straight while holding Z most of the time. (Whew)
7. Watched a pretty awfully cheesy movie
8. Messed with my husband when he was trying to go to sleep:) I LOVE DOING THAT!

Eight things I wish I could do:
1. Sing for a living
2. Always think before I speak
3. Eat multiple flavors of ice cream daily with out dying from it
4. Be able to do hair and makeup well
5. Abolish sex trafficking and get all the women and young girls back to their families
6. Play piano and guitar
7. Have a supernatural power to zap food to starving people
8. dance (modern, jazz, ballet etc.) really well

Eight shows I watch:
1.
We dont have a TV but if I can then I like to catch American Idol or awards shows which normally ALWAYS disappoint, but I still eagerly await them.

I tag Lauren W

Sorry...sort of...

To say that I need to update my blog would be an understatement. We were having tons of inappropriate fun together talking about Jheri curls and bathroom humor and I had to go and have a baby. THEN the only thing people were interested in were pictures of Zipporah and I crumbled under the pressure.

I never take pictures so that makes it hard and most days instead of blogging I prefer to stare off into space until I realize hours have gone by, eat whole boxes of cereal and chocolate covered granola bars (Sorry Heather, I will change) and stare at my baby until she does something so cute that everyone should see, yet I know I wont document.

So, if you even sort of missed me then I apologize. However, I cant say with certainty that I am "back." I have actually been going through a mini "techno crisis" lately. I have a myspace...I never check it or respond to people...I have a blog...you see how well I have been doing with that lately and I now have a Facebook since Summer forced my hand (although she rarely sends me messages, BUT she did come into town to see me this weekend so I cant complain) but I sort of want to do away with them all because I cant keep up!! But then how will I know when Ray Ray from the 5th grade gets married or when the perfect girl from high school gets fat? (Come on people, be honest with yourselves)

I also blog so infrequently that I become long winded and as my friend Chris Chavez basically told me that reading my blog at times is the decision between reading to the end or having a good 30 minute quiet time...

So...I wont update about our fantastic trip to Savannah or every cute thing Z is doing or how great the Rising was or how wonderful it was to write a song with Jourdan or have her come into town twice or having Summer here, or having dinner with the Bleeckers in Memphis or about my goal to lose 10 pounds as I watch Rick and Heather disappear before my eyes...I cant do any of that because it would just be too much. And I cant upload all of the pictures from those events because 1. unless there is something that I don't know about, adding photos to blogger is TIME CONSUMING and 2. I didn't take any...

BUT Lauren Buck did get a few from our time in Savannah last month, so I can leave you with those...


Z unsure about the camera

Z realizing she loves the camera


Z thrilled to see Uncle (Brian) Buck


Classic photo of the over smiling mom attempting to get her child to smile...didn't really work


Both of us giving up on the smile

Lauren, me and Z.


Nothing great about this, just think Adam is looking tall, muscular and fine...

Thanks for taking the pictures Lauren!

Til Later,

Zipporah Pics

If you want to see some cute pics of Z, go to www.lindseysheaphotography.blogspot.com
Lindsey is a good friend and even better photographer. Thanks Lindsey for the pictures!!

Howdy

I need to fix my blog...its pretty whack right now. I can't figure out how to make my header fit my template and don't really have the time to figure it out. PLUS whenever I switch templates it erases my friends list and I cant remember peoples blog addresses, so I get way behind. Blah, blah, blah. Everything is good with us. We had a laid back Christmas. NO GUESTS! NO GOING OUT OF TOWN! At first I thought I wouldn't like that, but it was really great and relaxing. Having a new baby is so full time that any break is good. I don't talk on the phone much or go many places lately and its good. I am sure I will be back in the real world eventually. So if I haven't talked to you or seen you and you're offended...stop. But I am pretty blessed not to have people in my life that get offended like that, so...never mind! I don't have much to say, but look at how Z is growing into a little girl! These were taken with Adam's cell phone so that's why her eyes look funny and they are a bit blurry, but we tried. She's 6 weeks in these pictures and will be 7 weeks tomorrow. Its flying by for us!







We were waiting in the hospital for them to see Zipporah, so that's why she has on a wristband, she isn't trying to be cool:) (Long story on the hospital, no problems FYI)

I think that's all I got! But we may be getting a new computer soon and if we do I will have more opportunities to blog and hopefully keep peeps updated, although I think something is already wrong with our new camera, so we'll see!

Til Later,

An Update in Pictures

Some pictures I like of Z from her first 4 1/2 weeks of life...

Z chillin'...no we did not pose her like this or lace her fingers together...all Miss Priss' doing.




Adam and Z talking some things over


Friends (she always sleeps with her little hand like that)


Kirk and Zip


Shannon knit Z and Irene matching hats


Its unclear whether she liked it or not (poor Z...she is only like 4 days old:) (are those my hands or what?)


Auntie Angie and Z


Our Memphis Thanksgiving


Our little family


Z doing some serious thinking in the hospital


Daddy and Daughter


Zipporah has the biggest eyes and when you take pictures they get even bigger...we call this "Zipporah sees the devil"


"Zipporah modeling"


Adam and I at the Reach Christmas party...we never take pics together...


Me taking pictures of Shannon taking pictures of Z in a gift box...I will post the pictures she took later, but for now I better go feed and bathe little Z. I am sure I wont blog before Christmas, so I hope its a good one for you all!

Til Later,

The Birth Story, Part 2 (Long, but surely interesting...)

So, we walk into the hospital and make our way upstairs to the labor and delivery area. It still feels surreal, like they aren't going to let us stay and that I will have to carry Z for 9 more months. We get there and they take me back fairly quickly. Being in labor is pretty intense especially when people are asking you questions like "Whats your address?" "How tall are you?" "What did you weigh pre-pregnancy?" Its like, "What does it matter what I weighed then? I am fat and in pain now, so just let me lay down!" You kind of just want to go Incredible Hulk on them and start smashing things until they just submit you to a room and stop asking questions. But you gather yourself and press on.

I must say though, I definitely prayed throughout pregnancy that if I were to make it through a natural delivery that I would want to be dignified. Someone left a comment on my blog when I was talking about wanting to go natural and she talked about how she acted a fool the whole time. I thought it was hilarious and then I thought "Oh, Lord please let me keep my cool." Because, that's OK, for someone else, but I have no medium button, just calm or full out crazy. I didn't want to embarrass myself, my husband, my baby or cuss anyone out. Not very becoming. I will say in advance that He was very faithful.

So they take me back to triage and make Adam wait in the lobby. I get into that confusing hospital gown and all of the questions about height, weight and what I want on my tombstone begin. I was having awful contractions. It was around 6:15pm or so and the contractions were still every couple of minutes. After all the paperwork the nurse tells me that she is about to check my cervix and I start thinking of a number in my head that would be pleasing to me. Well, before I pick one, she tells me that I am dilated to 1 and 1/2 centimeters. I almost start crying. I ask her if she's kidding, she says she isn't. She tells me that she will allow me to stay about an hour and check me at that point to see if I can stay. Can stay?? I had no clue what I would do if they sent me home. Being in pain is all the same, but having to get dressed and drive back home and then do it all over again if I became further along just sounded so awful. But I said "OK" and she said she would go get my husband...35-40 minutes later she returns to check on the beeping monitor for Z's heart rate that they had painfully strapped to my stomach (someone please invent another method for the two monitors they strap on you when you are trying to labor but those things don't give you freedom to move freely and they are tied so tightly that they hurt!) and still no Adam. I said "Mam, where is my husband? I am in alot of pain and need him." She says, "Oh, I told the people up front...they must have forgot."

5 minutes later my very sad/angry looking husband shows up. He was so upset that they forgot about him. An hour and some change had passed since I'd left him and he had no clue what was going on. The ladies at the front desk were laughing and chilling and when they finally realized "Oh, yeah you could have gone back there awhile ago!" Adam says very sternly, "I know this is old hat to you guys, but this is my first child and I would appreciate it if you would treat it that way." They sincerely apologized. Intense.

So, he gets back there and I tell him how many centimeters I am dilated to and he knows I am defeated and that the lady is coming back at 8:00 to decide if I go home. So he starts praying aloud for God to work a miracle and literally open my cervix to a 3. He sent text messages to friends and asked them to pray as well. It was such an intense time, but Adam labored with me like a champ. Though we hadn't practiced ANYTHING, he started helping me breathe when the hard contractions kicked in, rub my back, got me the trash can while I threw up several times, it was crazy, but he was such a help, not sure I could have made it. THEN IT HAPPENED:) I started throwing up that awful Popsicle when SPLAT! something came out of me...I said, "Adam, something just happened! I might have gone to the bathroom!" He looked at me and said, "Um, I am going to go get help."

Funny side note...Adam is afraid of all things "bathroom." His biggest fear is that he would see me "go" on the delivery bed. And when that "splat" happened he was sure that I had "gone" (the long kind) on the bed.

So in Memphis fashion it was past 8:00 and no nurse had shown back up like they said they would so he just grabbed any nurse out of the hallway. In a full circle God moment, in this huge over staffed hospital the nurse he randomly grabbed was the same nurse that took care of me last September when Adam was in China and I miscarried our first child. It was a sweet moment, that I couldn't focus on because of the drama of whether or not I had pooped on the table. :) But in my heart I knew God had done that on purpose. But she came in and gave us full attention and told me that my water had broken and that I would definitely be staying. The reason it looked so funny was because Z was in a bit of distress and had a bowel movement and it came out when my water broke. Adam was relieved, although we weren't happy Z was in distress.

We were thankful the Lord had come through again. (as always) I was staying and our long awaited pumpkin head would be there at some point:) Then she checked my cervix again and within that hour I had dilated to a 5! It was such a blessing, even though in my laboring mind I was thinking, "Holy, crap! This is awful and I gotta get to a 10." But I was thankful nonetheless.

Well, then Satan showed up...actually, it was just the anesthesiologist asking if I wanted an epidural. Of course, whether I got it or not I had to fill out all the paperwork just in case. Greater pain, more questions. When she asked me about the epidural I definitely said, "Maybe." But Adam interjected and said, "No, she doesn't want one." Of course all the feminism in the room flared up and my nurse reminded us that I was the one in pain and that it was my choice, but I calmed her down by telling her he was just reminding me that I really didn't want one. She said OK and told me that she had two of her children naturally and that I could do it and would be fine. Great, thanks for the encouragement, it was time to head to the delivery room.

Somehow getting into that room brought on more pain. I was feeling like I might lose it, but my sweet husband kept me calm and kept praying aloud. I just needed to be reminded that God was with me. I had been so fearful leading up to that day and needed to know that the Lord would be with me. I was inadequate to do everything that I was doing that night and I needed to remember this was all bigger than me and my pain. I was about to birth a soul and this would be just the beginning of my need for Him.

The nurse checked me and said I was at a 6 or 7. Kind of vague, but we were advancing. It started to get chaotic...I had been fairly quiet, but started to say things like, "Adam, I cant do this," to which he would reply, "Babe, you're doing it! You're so close." I didn't feel close...Then I started saying things like, "What am I trying to prove?!!" And he would say, "Nothing babe, just trust the Lord." And more things like,"Dangit Eve, what the Hell?" To which he would reply, "Okay, babe just breathe." I am proud to say that was my only "cuss word" and the nurses there would later say that I was one of the calmest and best natural patients they'd ever had. (They also told me how they had been hit and kicked and yelled at by lots of natural patients.)

At that moment I just felt the sudden urge to push like my bottom half was about to fall off. Or as a friend's sister would say, "Like your butt is stitched up and a cow's trying to come out." The nurse had left saying she would be back in a couple of hours to check on me. (What the??!?!) But she had been gone 10 minutes and I told Adam we HAD to get her. I was about to start crying and I knew if I did that I would lose it and start screaming or something. It was totally the Lord because as bad as I wanted to give up and start going crazy which would have maybe caused me to lose control of my body and start to push (which would have been BAD) I tuned back in to Adam's voice and started breathing even though there was no break in contractions and my back hurt so bad that breathing was the last thing that I thought would help, but I stayed focused on him.

We pushed the nurses button a hundred times before we realized (in Memphis fashion) that it was broken...That would mean Adam would have to leave me to go get her. What if I were single!!! I would have had to go peak in the hallway myself and look for a nurse. Luckily she wasn't far and came in and checked me and just in that 15 minute span I had reached a 9. She took her glove off, I begged her to put it right back on and check again because I swore something was falling out of my body. She did, even though I could tell she was like "Lady, nothing changed in 2 seconds," but I was at a 9 and a 1/2 and she said she would call the doctor.

He comes in and walks out because I wasn't at a 10. My doctor wasn't there. Adam says this guy smelled like he had been smoking. I tell her to check me again, I was at a 10. It was time to push, which was a relief since I had been blowing for 10 minutes (which stops you from pushing) but the doc had disappeared. I heard someone say, "I think he went to the lounge." I almost cried. He showed back up shortly and got dressed booming of cigarettes according to Adam, but I didn't care. At that point the janitor could have delivered my baby, I just wanted her out. 5 pushes later...she was:)


They didn't put her on me or anything, which was fine...they just cleaned her and gave her to me later:) Strictly business...I normally wouldn't sell myself out like this, but Adam says its apart of the experience...This is me as soon as I pushed her out. I said, "Is it over?" and then I looked evilly at Adam as he had the nerve to have a camera out. This is the result...



My mentor Joelle, who has had 5 kids at home...Adam had text her to come help me labor when it was getting intense, but by the time she showed up they wouldn't let her in because I was pushing. It went pretty fast, praise GOD! I am glad it was just Adam and I. Such a time I will cherish forever.


Just barely 7lbs and 19 inches. See those long feet?


My great friend Shannon. She and Joelle were there right after she was born (10:02pm) and stayed til after 1am getting us groceries for the night etc. So sweet! BIG BLESSINGS THEY ARE!


New parents after the hard work:)


The sign in our room...AMEN!


A.T and Z.T (He kept his promise and cut that goatee off the next day since she was born healthy and happy. Praise God!)


I have a baby...

Shout out to all the visitors:) Ben and Ashley, Danny, LeCrae and Darragh, Lara, Liz, Jeremy and Shannon, Heather and Rick, Paula and Joelle! Love y'all!




Ashley's due in Feb. with a little girl!


Veto and Shannon


Danny, Jeremy, Irene and Liz


Liz, Darragh (who had her baby 4 days later) and some chubby girl eating:)


David and Lecrae meeting Z


All the guests are gone...little lonely Z


At home with Dad

Ok, my baby is screaming for food. Better go! I will post newer pictures later! Thanks for being patient!

Til Later,

The Birth Story Part 1, Getting to the Hospital

Okay, so I definitely promised to update by the end of last weekend, but I obviously missed that deadline. But I am super tired so have a little grace;) Although sometimes talking about birth can be graphic and personal...I am going to go ahead and share because it really was all God and His grace that made this a "special" time:)

So, I had been asking everyone to pray that Zipporah would come early so that I could see her and kiss her pumpkin face and so that I would have a better chance at a natural delivery. God heard his people:) 2 days before my due date I woke up at around 6:15am or so with this cramp of a feeling and I thought "Maybe that's a real contraction." But then I thought that I was overreacting because I was so ready to have her. But I noted the time and when that feeling returned 10 minutes later and then 12 minutes later I decided (even if I was wrong) to go ahead and label this "early labor." (If you've been pregnant you can understand that I wasn't necessarily overreacting since Braxton Hicks contractions don't hurt and this was the first really different feeling that I had felt in awhile.) Adam had been at Downline that morning, so when he got home I told him that I thought I was having early labor and well, he started asking why I hadn't finished packing and started putting underwear and socks into a backpack. So I told him that he was stressing me out and really needed to calm down and carry on with his day as usual.

By noon, the timing of my contractions were all over the place, 25 minutes apart then 7 then 15, but luckily I had a little book that made me aware of each phase of labor and it gave me great security that I was indeed going to have a baby soon. I didn't want to get too excited. I had told only a friend or 2 that I thought I was in labor and really just wanted to lay in bed until the action began. Well, all at once 3 friends decided to stop by. I have to admit that I wasn't feeling that idea initially but they came and brought me lunch and although the contractions were getting stronger and closer together; their company turned out to be a good distraction. But then, Darragh and Shannon and Adam FORCED me to go for a walk. They wanted to make sure the contractions were real. Normally if you go on a walk and the contractions feel better then you probably aren't really in labor so they wanted to make sure, even though I was pretty certain that I was in labor; that or someone had hit me in the back with an axe when I wasn't looking.

We walked around the block, which wasn't super far, but I felt like my hips were about to fall off. It was really cold and painful, but I was really appreciative that Darragh (who was so pregnant that she had her baby 4 days later) and Shannon stopped their days, put their kids in strollers and walked in the cold with me.

That must have been what I needed because once I got home the contractions were coming every 5 minutes or so. I told Adam that we might need to start getting ready because it looked as though this was actually happening, so he says, "Ok, I am going to go get the car detailed then." "Ummmm...ok" I guess thats what he felt was important at that moment; for his daughter to come home in a clean car. I said "ok," because my goal was to labor at home as long as possible and with him gone I had a better chance of just chilling and waiting. By the time he got back it was time for him to focus and rub my back and pay special attention to me because my contractions were 2-4 minutes apart and strong.

At that point I started getting nervous. Adam hadnt ever really wanted to practice breathing and we hadnt really talked through a plan about how I would actually get through natural childbirth. And since I vomited on myself twice during birthing class and Adam almost started crying, I didnt feel too confident about what we had learned that day. But thats another story. Anyway, I felt like the contractions couldnt get any closer but at my last appointment I was only dilated a half centimeter and I didnt want to get there and they tell me I needed to come back later. That might have created some sort of rage and I might have hurt my witness by punching a nurse in the nose bone. But I didnt know what else to do. Back massages and breathing were losing their effect since in my head I was stressing about when to get to the hospital.

I call a nurse, she says to just go up there. So we start getting dressed...Oh my Lord, ya'll should have seen my outfit. When you are in pain it seems like matching is impossible. I had on a black snap Henley that was a little too small for my belly, some light brown sweats that were flooding and falling off my hips (a bad combo) some scuffed up white tennis shoes and white socks, which you could catch a glimpse of due to the flooding, glasses, uncombed hair, a gray pea coat and a popsicle.

Packing seemed like it took ten years (I was already mostly packed but needed to put the everyday things into the suitcase) and we were on our way, BUT our neighbor happened to be outside and he had been saying Zipporah would be born on his birthday which was that night (and he was right) and Adam told him we were on our way to the hospital so he wanted to give me a hug and a wish of good luck. Sounds fair enough, but I just wanted to burn rubber and get the heck out of there. Luckily we live about 8 minutes from the hospital. Grimacing and eating my popsicle I knew that icy treat had been a mistake. I know you arent supposed to eat when you are in labor, but my sweet husband gave it to me since popsicles and ice had been my one pregnancy comfort and it made me feel better for a few minutes and then my stomach started making idle threats that would later become a reality.

So we get to the hospital, leave our luggage in the car until we knew further instructions... I throw that stupid popsicle on the street... my sweet husband picks it up and takes it to the trashcan. I roll my eyes, vow in my heart to remember to be loving and gracious towards him during labor, pull up my sagging flooding pants, wonder why I hadnt put on something better and head into the hospital to hear our fate.

Til Later,